Sunday, December 30, 2012

Happy Hour

-Vodka and Orange?
-No, I'll have a Screwdriver. Hahaha....
I fucking hate this job sometimes.
-When are you going to marry me girl, make a dishonest man of me?
-Arh Tommy sweetheart how are you? Heineken?
Another prick. Comes in here every night after work, flirts like fuck. Married with two kids and a wife who deserves better. I've seen the gun in his pocket when he kisses me good night. These fuckers leave you a tip, think they own you.
- Clare honey, how are yer?Two Jamies please.
Shaun and Pete. Now these two, I like these two. Young lads from the 'hood, good fun, good tippers. I think they're carpenters. I know they're union. Sure, they'll flirt but they don't make me feel dirty when they do. It's in fun. I've met their girlfriends. They're going steady.
- Well if it isn't my two favourite whatever it is that yous do. What'd you say we kick everyone else out and us three see what happens eh lads? 
- Clare yer too much honey , I tell yer...
-We might take you up on that one day Clare.
-I'll be here, just say the word. 'scuse me, look who just walked in.
-911 Emergency, Fire, Police, EMT or barmaid which service do you require?
- Just getting off fellas? Rescue any cats?
-Very funny. Erm, two Buds, a Miller and a coke for the rookie.
-Who put The friggin' Ramones on again?
-What you don't like 'em? They're from Queens, just like us.
And here we go.
-The KKK took my baby away/they took her away...
I fucking hate this guy. No you're not fucking funny you're a prick. I caught him doing coke in the bathroom one time. The ladies. Cried like a baby when I said I'd tell his sister. Me and Jackie we go to the gym three times a week together. The gym, look at the fucking state of me, drip white, never see the sun, 6pm to 4am, five nights a week in a crappy neigborhood bar, two packs a shift, drip fed vodka. Thank Christ I don't pay for it.
-Alas Clare I must leave you but I'll return tomorrow.
-Goodbye Sgt.
Mr Ryan, 'nam vet. In everyday at 3 out everyday at 7. $2 tip. Cheap bastard. I have heard every war story way, way more than once. His grandson's cute though.
-Clare same again and one for yourself gorgeous.
-Hey Freddie how are you baby?
-All the better for seeing your beautiful face. When are we going to run away together? I'll get you a greencard.
Take more than a fucking double vodka for me to run away with that piece of shit. I'd rather get deported. This fucking crowd make me wanna puke.
-Er, hey Clare, how's it going?
-Hey handsome, great, great. You?
-Okay yeah. I got a few papers to write but other than that, can't complain. 
-A drink?
-Erm, no thanks, gotta get my grandpa home. Thanks anyway. 
-Mr Ryan. Mr Ryan, Jimmy's here for you.
I wish he was here for me. I ride his tight little arse all the way to NYU and back again. Fuck, I need another vodka.


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