Monday, January 27, 2014

Ladder #4 (Volunteers) Gets A New Driver

-Now listen kid, I don’t want you getting all excited and running red lights and shit, it’s better we get to a fire in one piece a minute or two later than get in a fucking crash at some intersection just because you wanted to drive like fucking Steve McQueen outa Bullet ok?

-Steve McQ….

-Oh fuck you’s fucking kids. Christ I’m too old for this shit. Too fast too fucking furious whatever that shite is yous kids watch these days. It’s not an Xbox, it’s a fucking fire engine. It’s fucking big and it’s heavy and it can do a lot of damage if it hits another vehicle.

-Yeah, I got that Captain. Nice and steady.

-Right kid, nice and steady. We’re heroes but we don’t have to act the fucking hero. We get a call, we get on the truck, yous drive us there nice and steady, no panic no adrenaline rush, we’re no good to anyone if were wrapped round a fucking streetlight.

-Point of order there Cap, he’ll destroy a fucking street light if he hits it with the engine.

-Fuck you you fucking hump.

-So you got that kid? This is a good crew, you can be a big part of it. I knew your old man he was a good firefighter to. Measured.  I see a bit of him in you.

-There goes the fucking alarm baby, Capt, Jr, you’re up kid.

-Now remember slow and steady.

-I got you Captain.

-O’Connell, leave the fucking food we’ve got a call.

-Come on Cap, it’s chilli.

-It’ll keep.

-Slow and steady.

-What’s the address?

-203 South Mountainside Ave. Report of a turkey roaster tipped over, deck on fire.

-Fuck! Hey kid, remember all that bullshit I just told you, slow steady, fuck all that, hit the fucking gas, that’s my fucking house!

Johnny L

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